Hardcore Hopecore

Strap in a for a lot of positivity.

Men’s mental health is my passion. Passion for me is purpose and drive. My purpose for being a therapist who treats men is to be a beacon of hope and provide a place of healing. Knowing that men who are suffering can, and will, improve drives me forward everyday.

I truly believe that men can improve if given the right materials to do so. Additionally, I believe the communities these men return to also play a role in their improvements. We must take into consideration the environment they are living in and exposed to daily. For example, I can work with a guy on his depression and anxiety all day. However, it makes it tremendously difficult when we aren't considering his life outside of the therapy room. He could have pain and sadness working in a career he hates, Or, if he could be going home every night to an environment he is expected to show no emotions and just provide an income. This makes our work together so much more difficult because often times changes and improvements are not being supported outside the therapy room.

I get told all the time that men don’t go to therapy and that men can not benefit from therapy. I also get told that they can only succeed in therapy if it’s their own decision versus a loved one/partner/family member asking (or telling) them to go. All untrue.

I have seen men enter into treatment by their own desires and enter into treatment due to an ultimatum by a loved one. Both have an equal chance to succeed. “How?!” do you ask? Because it’s on me.

I’m the variable in all of this. I believe I can assist this person, and will do my best to provide all the healing resources needed for them to improve. I am the professional in the room with the licenses on the wall. I am the clinician with years of experience and knowledge to implement evidence based solutions. I am the “helping professional” and attuned with all the ethical considerations that are associated with this job.

I wake up everyday knowing that I have a space available for a client’s growth and wellbeing. Something I usually tell them is, “just come in and start talking.”

I always encourage my clients to bring in loved ones or people that support them into therapy. Whether it be a few minutes or half a session, it’s always great meeting people that support my clients. Moreover, you should take anyone in your life who goes to therapy seriously. You can be a big support in their improvement. What a wonderful thing! How great it is that this person felt they were in need of assistance and asked for help. And then, they decided to share it with you. What a privilege that they felt so safe with you that they wanted you to know they were in therapy.

If you are in therapy, then I applaud you. I admire you. Dare I say, I love you.

And I truly mean that. I had a male client tell me the other day, “Man René, FUCK therapy! This shit is hard!” I cannot disagree with this statement. For some people, therapy can be such a deep dive into thoughts and feelings they have avoided that it literally becomes a workout.

I did not take offense when the client told me that therapy was hard. I actually took it as a sign that we are working well together. He is working towards a goal and taking on something challenging. He’s also showing up to our appointments and doing the work. He feels comfortable enough in a space of healing that was mutually created between us.

That is my hope. That every man I work with is so dedicated to their healing that it bothers them how well they are improving. Because that means they are fighting for change in their life, and that is truly something to believe in.